AHHHH

I love my kids, they are my life but oh this momma needs a break. I need a break from the fighting and the straight up nasty attitudes. I don't get it, I don't understand it and I don't want it....
Dear Summer,
Please come soon. This mom wants to be able to yell " go outside and hurt each other so you don't mess up my house."
Please tell me I am not the only one who wants to kick my kids out of the house??? I will let em in for food, water and the bathroom... I swear...
Thanks, Tif

It's a hell of life

I had every intention to do a year in review this year but I can't. Lets be real here, this last year has been pretty awful. Anything bad that could have happened pretty much did. For 8 months straight Liam woke up every hour and a half all night. This made waking up and taking care of the girls next to impossible. I found myself feeling alone and trapped many days and on the good days, something would happen to ruin it.I was depressed, sad and never felt good enough.We have had more trials and tribulations in this one year than I care to admit but I gotta say this, we are still standing, I am still standing.  Maybe it hasn't been such an awful year, maybe this year was given to us to figure out where our places are in this world. Have I found that place? Heck no, but I am starting to. I am finally learning who I am and becoming who I want to be and modeling that person to my children. I want my kids to grow up knowing they can be who they want and do whatever they want in life.

Maybe if I turn it around and look at what I have gained this year it will seem way more positive.

1. Sure Liam came into our life with a bang, he really is the greatest little miracle ever and doing amazing

2. Even though I had to cut a few people out of my lives I gained some even better ones

3. I learned a lot about family over the last year and that my friends are my family

4. I found a great love for spin class

5. Everyone in my house is healthy and happy

6. My neighborhood has finally became the great one it used to be

And last.. I met some amazing family members who have made a huge impact on my life life just by meeting them once.

So life isn't as bad as I thought it was once I started to see it through not so sleepy eyes. 

 

Focus T25

 

 

Oh my gosh... I have started a new journey and let me tell ya OUCH.. I bought into the hype and I ordered T25. I have never been one to be able to work out on my own at home. I was more into the fitness classes where there are other people in the room and I kept up in fear of looking like an idiot. Well gym memberships are so expensive so I had to get rid of the membership. I tried the whole running thing and that was hard ( I am a wimp). I tried the whole diet thing and well that worked but that was not enough. I have became something I don't want to be weight wise and its time to change that. I know I had three kids and my body took a beating, so what, I know that Liam is only 4 months old but so what, it is not okay. The weight needs to go away....
I have taught myself over the last few weeks how to eat and how to eat healthy. It was hard and well I slip here and there ( maybe a little more then here and there) but it is all a learning process. The weight just isn't coming off as fast as I would like it to.. So here we go. With the support of my hubby the next 60 days of my life will be doing 25 minutes of intense exercises side by side with him. We completed day three last night and well it hurts. Everything hurts, my butt, my legs, my shoulders and my back. That's good though or so I have been told.
I don't want to flood my Facebook with all of my weight loss goals, achievements or struggles so I will do it on here.. NO I promise I will not become some health nut who tries to force it on others. Not at all, everyone is their own person and are free to do what they want. I have just spent so much of the last two years trying to be like others that I lost myself and this is me getting me back.  This blog is about my journey. My Journey as a stay at home mom (not by choice), a wife and how I get back to me.

DAY 1... Gross

Life is hard

Yes it is, Life sure is hard,
The last year has been a tornado for this family. We have been through hell and back but ya know what? We are still standing. It has been tough and there have been great days and awful good for nothing days. We have learned who our true friends are and that family isn't always blood. Most of all we have learned the importance of family and that no matter the distance my family ROCKS...
I truly believe that my family needed these hard lessons and though we are not totally out of the funk we will be soon. Life is hard yes, but it is all about what you make of the hard times that determine how you come out of the crap. I chose to come out of the crap still standing and happy.
I have spent a lot of time thinking and have realized I have became someone I am not really a fan of. I have became unhappy and resentful and I really do not like it. So whats a girl to do? Change this. I refuse to sit around and Facebook status how rough I have it or how its all poor me and stuff. Time for some major life changes,  SO... Out with the negative and in with the positive. Thank you life for the lessons and watch out world here come the NUNENKAMPS....

Pregnancy is so beautiful

Ha, hell no.....

My guess would be that whoever came up with the statement " pregnancy is beautiful " was a man or a delusional woman.  I am having a hard time coming up with a long list of " beautiful" and an easy time coming up with " gross and yuck " well those are my non vulgar words. LOL

So lets see here, this is my list of "beautiful"...

1. The final product of a beautifully bathed baby boy or girl
2. The ability to not feel bad for cashing out a whole bag of potato chips just because you wanted to
3. The wonderful kicks and movements you get to feel...
4. .....
5. .....


Okay that is all I got...

Now lets look at the not so beautiful

Morning Sickness
What an awful name for it because really how many times does it only happen in the am? That would be great if it did because you could make plans around it instead of random " crap I need to run to the rest room and puke"..

Insomnia
Whats this all about? Someone told me that this is so your body gets used to it when baby comes. I mean really, does tossing and turning in your bed all night really prepare you for up every 2 hours to a screaming baby begging for food? Um, nope not even close, totally different. Let us sleep now because it will be at least a year before we know what sleep is again..

BOOBS...
Yeah for those of us who generally do not have any boobs the first few months of pregnancy are great. They grow and you can actually wear a bra and look like you hit puberty, but after like month 6 gross. They are ginormous, covered in veins and lets face it ladies, leaking weird stuff. Yeah that makes one feel a little less then fabulous.  Pregnant boobs are so not attractive, I don't care who says they are..

Weight gain
Bless my hubbies heart for saying ALL the time " honey you are not fat you are pregnant". Okay so this explains why my belly is sticking out so far I can not see my feet but what about the rest? I am pretty sure there is no need for my arms to expand or for my thighs to become unrecognisable but hey maybe there is some reason out there and I have just not found it. 

Heart burn
Holy burning. Need I say more?

GAS....
Yeah I know I know, woman don't have gas. Ha, so not true and even more false when preggers. Nothing like being in a quiet crowded area and OOOPS ... How horrifying right? That's right ladies it happens to us all and you know how you think " maybe no one will know it is me after all there are a ton of people in here" hell no, everyone will blame the preggers one because everyone knows we can not hold it in. Just suck it up and laugh because that is about all you can do.


Advice or should I say to much advice
Everyone has an opinion yes I know but I am not sure it always needs to be stated out loud. Yes I know this bag of chips I am cashing out isn't healthy duh who doesn't. Oh you wouldn't do it this way? Well I will. You wouldn't eat that or drink that? Well I will. Your Dr is doing that, wow that's not safe. I trust in my Dr. You should find a new Dr. Yeah probably not but thanx. Oh my gosh, when that happened to me this went horribly wrong. Stop. I mean stop please.
I appreciate all the advice I can get yes of course but the horror stories or the ones that have a negative outcome can be kept to yourself. I don't need fear I need positive... I understand everyone does things different and the way I do pregnant you may not but its the way I do it and it works for me just like your way worked for you..

The glowing skin
Yup today it glows but tomorrow it may look like  14 year old boy who just hit puberty.

The kicks
This goes is both beautiful and not. The first few months of being able to feel these little kicks and movements are AMAZING but in the final months OMG they hurt. Sometimes I swear he is trying to come out of my bellybutton. I always tell Andy, " when this kid is older I am going to randomly elbow him and just say " paybacks suck"...

I feel like I had more idea while I took that 3 minute shower I was able to take today.  Oh well add to it ladies if you want because I am sure there are way more...
The moral of this long story is this. Yes the end product is an AMAZING cute and cuddly baby that you love and adore. The 9 months it takes to get there well not so amazing. Agree??
XO ~ T