To my girls

It seems like just yesterday I was breaking it to my mom that I was having a baby. It has been a roller coaster for sure these last 8 years but I can say this for sure, it has been worth every second of it. I am not sure I would change a thing.  I have always wanted to write something to my girls and get out what has ALWAYS been in my head, so here I go. 

To my Girls,
You two are the most amazing accomplishment I have ever achieved in my life. I have never loved anything more then I love you. Graci, you are so smart and beautiful and mom is so proud of all of the hard work you do. The fact that you want to change the world makes my heart melt. You have a heart of gold and I truly hope that you use that to do huge things in your life. Ayva, you are my spunky one. I have a hard time keeping up with you and love that you have such amazing energy. You are truly an amazing little girl and I love how you always want to learn something new. I love how you show affection and have so much love to give.
You two light up my life and have made me who I am today. I wish nothing but amazing things for you and I promise to be here every step of the way. I will hold your hand, wipe your tears, ground you, embarrass you and cry with you because I am your mom and that's what we do.  There are some things you need to know that may help you walk through life. 

1.  Life is hard but it should be fun, Laugh out loud (allot) and have fun.
2. Make the best out of every situation. Please try and see the upside to everything. Bad things are gonna happen and you can sit out and take it or you can jump back up and move on.
3. You will get your heart broken and probably more then once but remember this one thing. Years down the road you will find that boy on whatever social network is popular at the time and see that you dodged a major bullet. 
4. Never give up... If you have a goal go for it. I will always be proud of you for going for what you want and I will always back you up.
5. Its not about how many friends you have its about who those friends are. Friends should always have your back no matter what. 
6. Forgiveness... Forgiveness.... Forgiveness.... Its hard to hold on to anger. Someone may hurt you and you may think it is unforgivable at the time but if it is a true friend it is probably worth working it out. 
7. Say you are sorry when you are sorry. If you hurt someone, say you are sorry. Its hard and sometimes feels impossible but do it. It could make a huge difference in your life.
8. HAVE FUN.... Always have fun. Okay yeah I am repeating myself but I think fun is so important.
9. Know that mom loves you. I know I yell allot and I promise from this day forward to work on that.
10. I know you are going to go out and drink behind my back at some point. Don't go out and try and prove a point your first time ever drinking. All that will get you is a head in the toilet a massive headache and probably a super long grounding. :)
11. Don't do drugs. There is no point. I know you may try and if you are like me you wont like em much.
12. I do not expect straight As and I never will. I only expect that you do your best at everything you do.
13. Be kind to people. Even the ones that are cruel to you. Treat everyone the way you want to be treated. People can be cruel and no matter what don't let them bring you down.

I am sure I am missing so many tips and tricks but we have many many years for me to give you advice. I just want you girls to know that no matter what you do I will always love you. You aren't going to always make the greatest choices out there and we will bump heads allot but when push comes to shove I will always have your back because that's what mommas do.  Always be yourself and do not ever let anyone tell you that you are not good enough because you are. You can be anything you want to do in this world and you can be whatever you want. Hard work will pay off, but always remember who you are and where you came from.  I love you more then life itself.
XOXO MOM

Looking at my life

 

 

With all of the crazy holiday cheer we reflect on life and what we did wrong and what we can change and we make a long list for the start of next year of everything we are going to change...We are going to work out more, we are going to make more money, we are going to eat healthier and blah blah blah. Who actually follows the list for longer then a month? Not I and I am so not making a list this year either..

This year was our first year with just the 4 of us and no guests coming over. I was sad we wouldn't be with our usual company but worried that my family would be bored and this would be considered the worst Christmas ever. I thought that maybe I should plan some fun things, well with me not feeling well all week and stressing over shopping I failed at that one, so we just hung out. We held down the couches, took much needed naps, played a few games and watched dumb movies. To me, it was perfect. 

It never fails someone gets sick and this year it was Ayva. She fell hard too, spending most of the day on the couch.  Me being the amazing momma that I am decided to sit right next to her all day. :) While I sat there I looked around the room and saw Graci glued to her new IPOD and Andy sound asleep scrunched on the smallest couch ever. PERFECT. It was so quiet in my house and all I could do was think about how amazing my life is.

I complain and whine allot, I have daily temper tantrums and many times wish I had more then I have. I find myself sometimes wondering what our life would be like if we would have waited to have kids and you know, paid off college first and worked a few years in our fields we worked so hard to get into, then moments like yesterday hit me and I realize, I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world.

We did life ass backwards yes I know. We struggle monthly to pay bills, I shop for grocery's at Walmart (yup and I am proud of it), my girls don't have all designer clothes on neither do mom and dad. But, the bills get paid, we never go without, we eat dinner every night as a family and we do things together..  We may not be able to have the weekly date night that I hear about from other moms but we watch pointless TV together every night, and that's my favorite time of the day. My favorite saying EVER is " We may not have it all but together we have it all". what a great saying..

All in all here is my lesson learned.

Yup, I just babbled on about what to you might seem pointless and that is fine. I guess my whole point here is this, life is hard for everyone. We all struggle in some way but none of us are better then the other. Some of us may go out allot and even have kids, so what. Some people don't work out as much as the other, again so what. We are all people and we are all here just trying to make it in life. I know in the beginning of this I said I was not going to make a New Years list but as I finish this I have changed my mind. Here is my list.

1. To be a better person

2. To eat a little better and work out a little more

3. To go out and party more with my friends, well after baby of course

4. To live life to the fullest

 

Yup there is a list and I am going to try and follow it but you know what, if I slack a bit oh well. I am a happy girl and have everything I need. Life is good and I hope in the new year life is good for you all too.  XOXO