Is any one even watching this?

So I did it.  "what now" you may ask.  I took those dreaded before pictures and oh my god.  I want to cry, in fact I did cry.  I will not be posting them if that is what you are thinking. No way, so it will be okay to scroll down this page.  But yeah NASTY. How did I let it get that bad? I have lived my whole life eating whatever I wanted and never gaining a pound. In fact I was so skinny that I was always asked the question if I had an eating disorder. No way, I was just skinny.  I think that now I have an eating disorder.  I can not stop eating.  I love to eat, and when I do, I do not stop when I am full, I keep going untill it is gone, sometimes I even go for more....So what am I doing to change this?

WEIGHT WATCHERS.....

Yeah I did it.  I didnt want to spend the money but I did it.  I have bene doing it for three weeks but it has been a struggle.  I havent been as dedicated as I could or should be...NO more...Tomorrow I go hard core Weight Watchers.  Even when I struggled I seemed to lose two pounds.  So please stay tuned and follow my journey.  I am also starting C25K again tomorrow.  This time there is no slacking...My goal is to lose 30lbs in the next few months...Or atleast fit my clothes comfortably....:) STAY TUNED.....

New job/ Field Trip/ Running and um yeah....

Okay so I have realized I am not good at writing in here.  I really need to add that to my list of things I need to get accomplished.  Anyways, GOOD NEWS ALERT...
I got a job.  Well I got that job bartending some Saturdays of the month but they offered me to run their banquet hall.  I had to think about it, and think about it hard.  I swore off working in restaurants but the more and more I think about my life I realize, I never struggled with that line of work.  I was good at it and didnt have to worry about my contract being up and losing my job every year.  My bosses rock.  They are pretty laid back and are open to all ideas, which makes everything easier.  I am super excited. I can use my personality that got me fired from the last job and make money doing it.  This will be an amazing and fun experience and I can still stay home with Ayva...Score.

Field Trip
Graci had her very first Girl Scout field trip this weekend to a farm.  It was fun, a bit stressful but fun.  Andy went to a Packer game so I had to bring Ayva with, not again will that be done.  She was tired.  Pretty well behaved just tired and crabby.  All in all it was a great trip. Fun to see Graci having fun with her girlfriends.

RUNNING....
Ahhh.. I was doing so well following my Couch 25k program but finished week 2 last Monday and slackedoff the rest of the week and today.  So tomorrow I start back up.. 

On another exciting bit of news.  Saturday was my two week mark for NOT smoking...Wow, I made it two whole weeks. It hasnt been to hard.  I still want to smoke every single day and think about it all of the time. But I have been able to not do it...I do not notice any changes in my body like everyone said I would.  But maybe running will be easier after a little bit longer.  We will see and time will tell.
Okay well enough for tonight, Nighty night..XOXO

First week and a half down....

Well, the first week and a half of being a stay at home mom is over. We all made it and we are all adjusting well. A gigantic shout out to Ms. Beth and Ms, Sherry for allowing Ayva into Preschool LATE.  You two rock.  I was sad this summer knowing that Ayva was not going to be able to be in the best preschool program ever because of my new job. I felt like she was going to be missing out on all of the fun things Graci was able to do when she was this age.  So maybe losing my job was a blessing truly.  Yeah I was sad but with two weeks to deal with it, I realize that it wasnt for me.  Full time in a horribly stressful field raising a family is horrible on the body and mind.  I havent taken care of myself mentally in a LONG time and that was not working out for myself or my family.  I feel free now.  I feel like it is time to be the old me, the fun and very energetic person I used to be.  Those of you who know me know that I have crazy low self esteem, well this is the time to change it.  Yeah staying home hoe isnt always going to be glitter and rainbows and it will be very challenging but I am up for this challenge. I GOT THIS...

I started the Couch to 5K program last week and did pretty well.  I didnt die, and i really didnt hurt to bad.  Well yesterday I decided to do this outside with my dog.  It went pretty well, I actually felt pretty good and crazy proud of myself.  But today, let me say OMG...I feel like I was ran over by a truck.  It doesnt help that I am sick and my chest is killing me either.  My legs feel like they are going to give out on me at any moment and my ankles pretty much hate my guts as well.  Oh well, back at it tomorrow.  I am hoping to start the P90X program here soon too, but well one step at a time here.  I fear if I do to much right away I will hate it and not return to it, because lets face it, if I fail I give up.  Any tips out there for work outs please comment and let me know...I love to hear it all...~ XOXO

Hello

Yeah so. I know that noone follows this and thats not really why I am starting this blog up again really. I guess it is so I can show myself how my pregress is through this new life journey. I am a new stay at home mom, omg what am I thinking? Am I insane? Can I do this? The answer is yes to the last two, I am insane and I can do this. I am also starting a new and healthy life style. By this i mean I will be using the Couch to 5K program and P90X. Oh yeah, the laziest person you know is going to get fit..Ahhh. Here is to a whole new life. With alot of organization and creative ideas this will be fun. So here goes nothing...

Here we go....

Look at how much we have grown. Graci just celebrated her 5th birthday and Ayva will be celebrating her 2nd birthday this week. The are wild and crazy and so full of energy. Graci is loving Preschool and can not wait to start kindergarten in the fall. Ayva is starting to talk in full sentences and trying hard to be just like her big sister...We have fun..